Dissapointment

Well. If there's ever been more of a time to show me how little I matter as a teacher, to show me that I'm not a teacher, it's now.

Not only are my students making certificates of something to better their grades, but I'm also not allowed to give final exams. Which means other teachers are giving my exams, teachers who are much more lax about cheating than I. 

I knew this would be the case; it was the case last year. Last semester.

The teachers who give the exam allow cell phones. They allow talking. They allow sharing of answers. The teachers don't care. I know my students cheat- their answers are identical (and always wrong), their handwriting changes, etc. – it's not hard to notice. The teachers who give the exam, they don't care at all.

It's hard to feel like you're really in charge.

Today I learned that though I had instructed for my video to be played twice, one class (class 3) had it played three times, and class two had the video played five times for listening. Class one only had it played twice for them.

This makes the exam so unfair, I want to throw it out. I want to scrap it. But I can't. Not now.