Shenzhen

Hey! I'm in shenzhen now. It's exciting. Mostly I've been hanging out with Ann.

We had Indian food last night. It was delicious.

I return on the 1rst.

Playing Chicken

Today I talked with my TA. She mentioned the department would be very angry if I didn't teach class. I told her I'd be willing to reschedule class. 

I hate to put her in this position. 

Will the department fire me? Unlikely. 

In the end, the department caved and I am free to go. I dislike throwing my weight around, I dislike fighting with the department. In this, though, it's not even their call- it's the administration of the college. 

Part of me wonders if they did this so late to keep bird flu from spreading or something in case bird flu was spread by people- they announced it in time to interrupt everyone's travel plans back home. 

In the end, I'm allowed to leave on Sunday for vacation. Yay me.

Woes update

After I sent the message I went to new campus. I'll wait for faster internet until I mention that. 

Talked to the secretary of Minsheng College today- she asked me flat out if I was going on Sunday. I told her yes, and that I'd try to make up the classes. She nodded and said nothing more, knowing I was frustrated by the schedules and things. 

So there's that. I'm not sure what to make of it. She neither supported nor rejected my decision. I think it was a very wise move indeed. 

More Woes

Today I talked with Ruth, and we realized we had a misunderstanding- I took her words too seriously, and she didn't realize the effect her words had on me. We are better, and I'm glad. 

Perhaps I'm just stressed and reading too much into things. 

But today did not go much better. Here's a timeline of how I received information: 

At the beginning of the year we are all handed a schedule with the times we will teach and the times the breaks are. The days off are Monday, April 29 and Tuesday, April 30 and Wednesday, May 1st. 

On Monday I bought my nonrefundable plane ticket to leave on Sunday. 

On Tuesday afternoon (the discussion is in the morning) my students tell me that we will have the second and third of May off. We will make up the days we miss the Sunday and Saturday before break and the Sunday and Saturday after break. Nothing official has been told to me. 

On Wednesday, today, I receive a notice from my TA that she will visit my classes. I tell her great, I'll see her on the 7th. She explains I will have class on Sunday. I tell her that no one has told me, and I have bought nonrefundable plane tickets, so I won't be going. 

She tells me to prepare for the worst and that the department is serious. 

I am so tired of being pulled around by this department. Last semester I worked 24 hours of teaching, plus about 20 hours extra of prep, because I had NO TEXTBOOKS or LISTENING MATERIALS given to me by the department. I've had to edit movies, tv shows, find scripts and transcripts in order to make some semblance of a class. I've had to make a writing class from scratch as well. This semester I have much more manageable time, but I'm still bending over backwards trying to get my students to understand a research paper and how to divide a big paper so that it doesn't feel so big.

Things that I am frustrated by the department/University for: 

First thing said (department): Well, we're going to not pay you for the extra classes you teach until a date that keeps moving into the future.

Solved by: Payment the day the new semester started.

Second thing (department): Well, you're going to have to teach double the amount of classes, but we'll put them at the same time so your pay will be the same. If you refuse the department will give them to another foreign teacher. 

Solved by: Threatening to leave and mentioning that teaching those class sizes would break my contract.

Third thing (university): All foreign teachers will have to teach this new, extra class! (The Australian teachers do not apply mysteriously, nor do the Oya college teachers). 

Solved by: Callie and Ellen agreed to teach, and by this point the department was desperate.

Fourth thing (department): You now have to teach your classes on New Campus! Randomly! In the middle of the semester! Good luck getting there!

Solved by: I am teaching the classes at new campus for now. This is not worth fighting, it's just annoying.

Fifth thing: You must teach on these dates we did not prepare you for nor tell you about. 

Solved by: I'm not teaching on Sunday. I'll teach the weekend after, but I'm not teaching Sunday. My tickets are bought and I cannot return them.  

Between the issues at the department this year, and the place I live- I cannot count how many times the power has gone off or I'm without power, nor can I tell you how much money I've wasted going to other places for fast internet so that I can prepare for classes since I have no materials provided by the department. There's no fast internet here, there's no regular power, there's occasionally things that don't get fixed until you get super vocal about them. 

I know it's April, and I know it'll soon be May. I know I'm thinking about what it will be like to be home. I know last semester I was run ragged and tired and exhausted. 

But I am so tired of being dragged around by this department. I am so tired of being told last minute about things, of agreeing to things. I know that's how China does things. I know I'm not the only one affected by this. 

I have done more than what was asked of me, and never received a word of thanks. I regret taking on all that extra work now, as instead of thanks I'm told that the department is serious and upset with me and they've consistently demanded that I do more work. 

Frustrating Class

Sometimes I get so frustrated at my classes that I want to scream. 

I have one class who hasn't been doing their in-class assignments. Normally, if this was the first class, I'd correct the lesson plan, figure out what's not working, and give them more time to do the assignments. But this isn't the first class- they're my last class. The other three classes do their assignments (in class assignments), answer my questions and seem to have enough time- this includes the transfer class, which have the least amount of understanding of the group. 

This class, though, just has refused again and again to do the in class work. This work was the same assignment last year, with four different classes; this year, three classes did the assignment: spot the differences in the American and British versions of the office. Anything. Anything you can. Don't care how big or how small. 

Usually if a class gets stuck, I ask them why they liked a version better, and that is a good place to start. 

But this class was silent. Nothing. Nothing at all. They told me it was because America and Britain are the same. 

The whole point of this unit is to figure out little differences in culture, to see that foreign countries are not the same. Is it useful to their test taking? I dunno. Nobody gave me a syllabus. Nobody gave me materials or a book. I had to make it all from scratch. Hours upon hours spent editing, writing plans and coming up with materials- yeah, it was not too fun.

The next week, I made a chart and mentioned to them the categories they were to look for. Only half the class turned in that assignment, and only half of the halves were done. It was extremely disappointing. 

This week I got a call from a student, asking to take the 3rd of May off. I thought we did have it off, but found out we don't. So I tell my students today we will have class. This does not seem to settle well with them. 

Later, Ruth and the monitor appear. I know Ruth- she was a good friend of Ann. They both start talking about how it's the only class they have and how I should cancel it for them. Their other teacher canceled classes, so they can get an extra three days if they do it. 

I, however, will still have to teach on Friday. So it makes little difference to me. This class is the class who actively doesn't do assignments in class, who say America and Britain are the same, who don't behave well. They need the most help with their listening, so canceling a class is a big no way. 

So the bargaining for the students began:

Monitor: Give us an in-home assignment

Eaaf: No. You don't do the assignments in class, I can't trust that you'll do the assignments at home. 

M: Let us make up the class.

E: No, I know how that works- you are not obligated to come.

M: Let's reschedule the class

E: Once again, you would not be obligated to come. Nobody would come. Can you promise me that everyone would come?

*Ten second pause, monitor is uncomfortable*

Ruth: Of course we can promise!

E: Nope.

Ruth: We're friends! Do this as our friend!

E: This isn't friends. You're coming as my students to a teacher.

R: It's a cultural difference. 

At this point, I realize they're using the friendship to try and get a favor, which is the Chinese way. 

E: No. This class needs help. The exams were not what I expected, and I need to make sure we don't fall behind and we get better. Meeting once a week is better than making up a class. 

R: We did poorly because the exams are not the Chinese exams. Your exams had too many accents! They have normal conversations!

E: What is a normal conversation?

R: Two people speaking standard English slowly and clearly. The news is also clear.

E: Well, I'm sorry, and I know that not all exams are like that.* We will have class. Look, you two girls have done the assignments, but your classmates have not. They don't do the assignments. And I know that it isn't hard, because the other three classes are able to do these assignments. Yours was the only class who didn't. Your class needs the extra class.

R: Maybe it's because they don't understand. They can't do two things at once, they can't write and listen. 

E: Then we should practice that on the 3rd.

R: Maybe it's because you became nicer. If you get mean again they'll be mad. 

E: I'm nicer?

R: Yes! This year you spoil us. Maybe the students see the class as relaxing and don't try as hard.

E: I should be stricter? Is that what you're saying?**

R: We are really sorry. Last week, when we turned in the paper, many of us were really sorry that day. We love you. 

E: But you weren't sorry the week before, when you guys did the same thing and nobody turned in or answered anything. Why weren't you sorry then? 

R: We were sorry. 

M: Can we cancel the class?

E: No. It will be on the 3rd.

R: The students will bear a grudge against you. 

E: What?

R: They will be angry with you. 

E: (pausing to think) Well, I'd rather have them be angry and have good listening skills than be happy and be bad. 

R and M laugh a little: You're really a good teacher. 

E: Okay. We'll have class on the third.

R: Please, no. We can't. 

E: Yes. We will have class on the third and if the students don't come they'll fail their assignment for that day. It's their choice.

M: No. Please. 

E: Okay, here. You will either have class for 4 hours on Friday, on the 10th (from 10-2) and you need to schedule that time, or you will have class on the 3rd. 

M: 4 hours!?

R: What about the afternoon? 

E: I don't believe anybody will show up in the afternoon.*** They will see it as optional. 

M: Let's reschedule the class on Monday

E: Nope, I can't do that. four hours straight or nothing.

R: We will talk to our classmates. 

I feel a little angry. I feel very upset; Ruth pulling the friendship card is what I'd expect of China. I guess I didn't realize our friendship was based on favors, and I'm not sure that she'd done me any favors, either. Usually my favors are from other people. So she's done me no favors and is suddenly asking for the biggest one- asking me to cancel a class that needs to have a class, a class that has misbehaved, and there's no benefit for me. I still have to wake up at 8. I still have to teach.

I guess this is the downside to calling your students friends. I'm not sure what more to say other than I'm really hurt, and hurt because I should have known better.

*I specifically changed the listening materials on my exam to have standard American and standard British accents. Last year there was a heavy Spanish accent that my students didn't understand, so I nixed that for this class. Also why we did accent listening earlier this semester.

** I have been much more relaxed about teaching this year mostly because I don't have the survey course again, which is me desperately trying to cram in as much info as possible into their brains because I don't have a book or guide to tell me what the students need to know.

*** I did have a class Friday afternoon. Many students would skip the class. 

Edit

By complain, I mean mention it again the next day. 

My door

My door is still broken. It still takes a lot of force to open it; soon it won't open at all. Yvonne talked to the lady who said since I didn't complain, maybe it fixed itself. 

I don't even have words. 

Unbirthday

Today was my un-birthday. Let me explain.

 

On my Skype account, I purposely put the wrong birthday. I've never bothered to change it because it doesn't matter. But every day the 15^th rolls around and I have to explain what's going on.

 

Today I had a couple of calls. "Is it your birthday?" Jenny asked me over skype. I had to explain to her that no, today is not my birthday, but thank you for the wishes. I went to Baroque (an ice-cream store) for internet, and as I walked back Tim called me, asking about my birthday. I informed him that no, it is not my birthday.

 

We'd decided to go to Lazy Cat for dinner, and as I was about to go Yvonne came and gave me a heartfelt gift and card, it was really sweet. But it wasn't my birthday.

 

Tom had also heard it was my birthday, so as we were at Lazy Cat he gave me a neat map. It was also extremely cool, and so for my un-birthday  I brought gin and we had beer and gin and tonics on top of delicious pizza.

 

As I got home, the final key to my unbirthday was a birthday letter from my parents. It was really sweet, though Mom mentioned she wasn't sure why anyone would ever watch people playing video games. I have no heart to tell her I've been watching Let's Plays for years. They have a name, Mom. I enjoy it. :(

 

 

ALSO BIRD FLU WAS FOUND RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CAMPUS ON A PEOPLE! WHOOOO

I'm a little sick

Feel really tired, but I finished up stuff I wanted to do. :) 

Today is Ellen's birthday. I'm not sure how we celebrated- there was a trip to a place today with a three hour car ride each way, but last night I was so tired by 8pm that I decided against it. I'm glad I did- I was extremely tired today as well (I think I'm a little sick, but not with a fever-yet). 

So she, Callie, Jenny, and the hodge-podge of Australian teachers and students went to climb a mountain and look at the stone-built village. I do not quite remember the name of this place, as the name I have is located on the opposite side of China. I think it was a good birthday for Ellen. I got her a present- one she doesn't have to haul home and that isn't food. But I don't want to risk spoiling it before she gets back or gets her present, so I won't say what it is. 

I wish I didn't feel so sick, but I do. It's not even that I think meant to be sick- last night night I was so exhausted I really pressed going home at our fun dinner, and I canceled going on this trip then. Based on the level of energy I have today, that was a really, really, good idea. 

Next week, though, I have a 6 day break! The sports festival hits most of my classes, so I can enjoy even more time off. So I have ample time to recuperate. 

Speedy Internet like a Speedy Sloth

It's the day after the break- all students need to be back on campus. Today as I used the internet in the morning, I realized that I'm getting dial-up speeds. 

Remember, I can't get faster internet- I tried that. The hotel doesn't assign us IP numbers, either, so there's no way to request or pay for just my IP. 

Yesterday I had to do an internet crawl- it's where I go to different cafes and businesses just to use their internet. It's not as much money as the cafe, but it is a lot of money. The Australians do have speedy internet, but I've played with the router, my computer, settings, everything and my computer won't pick up that wireless signal. I may try an ethernet cable later today, and if that works, I'll park myself out by their internet like a hobo. 

In other news, I keep seeing pictures of my cats as kittens and wish I was home sooner. It's about that time, if I haven't mentioned it- Spring is here, and we're all counting down the days that we teach. We're all trying to figure out how long we have, who to talk to, and what to do or say. Mentally, I think, we're getting ready to go, like the last 15 minutes of class where you stare out a window. Soon enough. I have so much stuff I've acquired. I've got to figure out if I should send it home or sell it (most of it will be sold).

 I'm trying to get confirmation that I can take a train to Prague. If not, another time- I'm not going to reject a ticket that is paid for by the department.

 All this while I need to grade, assemble information, and double-check my student's papers. Whoot.

Festival Weekend

I think my blog looks a little negative as of late- that's my fault. There really are a lot of positives going on here, it's just much easier to rant about the negative things than the positive things anymore. I'm sorry to those of you who might not be getting a balanced view- I really am enjoying my time here, despite the difficulties. 

My power is on again- the man came yesterday afternoon, much to my surprise. But he came, and though my A/C doesn't work now, I'm not using it right now. It is also possible I'll just leave my windows open instead; I don't need A/C. 

The past couple of nights I've spent all with good friends, which has been great. Three nights ago I had dinner with some Australian teachers, and we went to a bar afterwards. It was a lot of talking, a lot of playing games, and a lot of learning about each other that was extremely fun, even if one teacher unfortuanately got a drink that tasted like toothpaste. Two teachers, actually. 

Two nights ago we all went to Lazy Cat. Will was back in town, so he came along as well, which was really fun- I've enjoyed seeing him again. I'm not sure that I'd want to work where he does- kudos to him for doing it really well and sticking it out even though it doesn't sound fun. Maybe it is; it would not be my ideal job, shall we say. So Ben, Ben's friend, Dannysha, Tom, Will, Tim, Alan, Jenny, and myself went to Lazy Cat to eat delicious food, and eat and drink we did. I didn't have so much drink- not after the bar, but there was plum wine (I love plum wine) and I sipped that. Still, given that we were sharing a bottle of wine with 9 people, I was by no means inebriated. 

After Lazy Cat time went and bought a hooka- it's gray and silver with elephants. I must admit that I am quite jealous- even if I bought a hooka and used it, I have no place to put it in my bags. So I must be hooka free until I return home. 

Yesterday I had a late lunch with Jenny and then dinner at a rice noodle store- Alexis's favorite place by South Gate. When we were all done eating we went to Tom's and played Uno and Kings. It was fun, and we all walked back to our dorms. I was a little late to mine while I escorted them home, and Tim was good enough to let me in though he had been sleeping. 

That's about the extent of my past couple of days. They haven't been as productive as I've wanted them to be, but I have been having lots of fun. :) 

Power problems again!

Over the winter I had no power problems, but now that it's spring, I do. And they're not easily solved by flipping the breaker. All of my outlets no longer have any power to them. My fridge has no power. My laundry machine has no power. 

I can't cook. 

I can't store food. 

I can't wash anything. 

I can't charge anything.

But the lights are fine this time, at least, better than the time they went out for 48 hours. 

Yesterday a man was supposed to come and look at the thing, but he didn't. So I've been told that he can't come today, but tomorrow. 

Things like this make me yearn for the old apartments. Sure they weren't as shiny, they didn't have kitchen areas, and they got really cold, but they had fast internet, no power problems, and I felt more like a person living in a home than a person living in a hotel. 

I think Callie may be affected, but I have no idea where she is.

Touchy-Feely

The downside with being in China for so long, I think, is that the strange things no longer bother me. Rather, I don't even know when they're strange.

I cannot tell you the number of people who will randomly touch me. I think the weirdest time was when I was tutoring, when a girl reached for my solar plexus and patted it. "You're so soft," she said. She continued to do this for the next couple of times we met. Just patting. Just curious. I had no idea what to say in this situation, and I still don't.

I am a fat person. I am very soft. It is true. I am very heavy, too, but that doesn't seem to be so much of an issue- it's more of a novelty than "You lazy pig" vibe that I get from the States. So occasionally a person will talk to me and suddenly, if we're seated, will reach up and touch my arm or stomach. Never my butt and never my legs. It's also not dependent on if there are other people around.

It's so awkward for me. I usually freeze and ask what they're doing, and then they make a noise (not a word, I've checked) that I think means "soft" or "fat", I'm not sure. Occasionally I just let them keep doing what they're doing- it's weird, but they don't mean anything by it. Even one of the foreign teachers (not American) has touched my arm, mentioning how soft it is.

I'm always stuck between "this is uncomfortable" and "should I ask them to stop". Most of the time I just sit quietly, because it's not a creepy vibe I get from them- it's pure curiosity. After a minute or so, most people stop. Sometimes they'll pat me again just for a moment, but never any longer for a minute.

So there's my dilemma; nobody is touching me inappropriately, or in an inappropriate way, yet I'm still a little weirded out by it. Last year I made peace with it- I don't touch them back, I look at them strangely, and usually that reaction is enough to get them to back off. Otherwise they explain what they're doing and why my fat arm is so interesting to them.

I'm not too concerned about saying something, either, because China is touchy-feely. Growing up, I didn't want to hug or touch people- it was only in Japan, when I was touched by no one that I realized I was okay with hugs. As an American, I think, I really enjoy my personal space- and there is a lot of it. In China, however, personal space is nonexistent  just like living space. You put six to eight kids in a dorm room because you have to. You build up, not out. You cram all together on a bus because you all need to use the bus, and you have to awkwardly hope that the bus doesn't stop suddenly.

It's not just lack of personal space, though, it's also... I dunno, culture? People go walking arm in arm, dating or not (but not men and women unless they are dating). Many times I'll be walking with a girl and she'll randomly take my arm. It's a sign of friendship. To me, it's a sign of intimacy, though I'm not sure if that's just me or other people from the States as well. People are physical here. It's not personal.

Yesterday, though, my thoughts on this came to a sudden stop when I realized, helping a student work on her paper, that one of the students was patting my butt.

I couldn't begin to think. It was my all girl class, I remembered. I turned to look at her, giving her a puzzled expression, and she pointed out that I had dust all over my jacket. She wasn't patting my butt, I realized, she was trying to wipe the chalk dust from my clothes. She was doing me a favor.

This was easily solved by not leaning up against the chalkboard again and talking off my jacket and knocking the dust out by myself. I thanked her for letting me know.

How do you even respond to a situation like that?

Fajitas

Tonight I made tortillas and fajitas. Ben, Dannysha and my student Mickey ate with me. It was delicious. 

It was soooo delicious. 

I still have burrito, taco and one more fajita pack to get through. 

I'm sure I will.